


If You Fall, I Will Catch You

by MagnusTesla



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Biting, Body Worship, Chronic Pain, Community: kakairu, Cuddles, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Iruka Needs Lots Of Love, Kakashi Is A Good Partner, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Timeline Difference, Non-Penetrative Sex, Panic Attacks, Rimming, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Singing, Snuggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 21:02:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusTesla/pseuds/MagnusTesla
Summary: When Iruka is hurt and close to falling apart, Kakashi is there to hold him together.





	If You Fall, I Will Catch You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Aryagraceling, ImNotQueen and decaf_kitty for your never ending support ♡
> 
> Lyrics are from the song [Not Alone - by Red](https://youtu.be/0ODDtLMiGnY)

The morning light trickled into the bedroom, creeping through the gap in the curtains, slowly making its way across Iruka's pillow, reflecting off his dark chocolate strands of hair before settling over his face as the morning sun rose up into the sky.

Iruka scrunched his eyes shut even tighter, pressing his face further into the pillow, trying to keep the sun out of his eyes. “Hmnn, too early. Kashi?” he mumbled quietly into his pillow. “Are you awake?”

No answer.

Turning his head, he looked over to where Kakashi slept, where he _should_ be right now. Iruka furrowed his brows and just before he was about to start panicking, he heard the distinct sound of water running in the bathroom.

 _Calm down Iruka. He's just gone for a shower. You're okay and you're safe._ He let out a breath that he didn't realise he was even holding and let the sound of running water calm his frayed nerves as he drifted back off to sleep.

 

****

 

Iruka may have fallen back to sleep, lulled by the gentle sound of water running from Kakashi's shower but, it was not a pleasant sleep. He was plagued by a nightmare that felt like it was never ever going to go away, constantly stuck in a loop, replaying that fateful evening over and over as though he were trapped in a cruel genjutsu.

Everything felt _so_ real. The cool evening breeze blowing over his skin, the sharp sting of kunai biting into flesh. And the absolute horror and fear as he surged forward to cover Naruto as the giant fuma shuriken embedded itself into his spine.

And then, he screamed.

“Iruka…”

As he came to and realised he was being held down, panic set in. Iruka felt like he couldn't breathe, as though something was constricting around his chest getting tighter and tighter on each exhale. _Where's Kakashi? H... He promised he'd always be here._ A strangled sob escaped his throat and then the tears started to fall. All he could hear was the sound of his heart rapidly thumping and then… singing, a soft voice cut through the haze of panic and the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

“Can you save me now? I am with you, I will carry you through it all.”

Iruka took a shuddering breath and felt calm washing over him. He knew that voice.

“I won't leave you, I will catch you, when you feel like letting go…”

He felt fingers carefully carding through his hair as he listened to that beautiful voice. _Kakashi._ He was with right there with Iruka, catching him and helping him through his trauma.

“Because you're not, you're not alone…,” Kakashi sang gently. “I'm here, Ru. Always.”

Turning his head towards the voice, Iruka looked through teary eyes and up into the face of his fiance who continued stroking his hair, smiling softly. Warmth flooded Iruka's veins upon seeing that smile, the panic and tension completely washing away, leaving his body feeling tired and absolutely wrung out.

“Kashi, I-” Iruka hiccuped, his hands clutching desperately at Kakashi's top. “I'm sorry.”

“Why are you apologising, Ru? You don't have anything to be sorry for.” Kakashi cupped Iruka’s face, gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs as they began to fall again. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

Iruka tried to push up onto his elbows, wanting a kiss but, the searing pain along his back stopped him in his tracks, making him wince.

“Iruka, stop moving. You might tear your incision if you haven't already. Lay still and let me look,” Kakashi ordered, pulling up Iruka's pajama top to expose the injury.

“Is it okay, Kakashi?” Iruka asked. He felt Kakashi tense up behind him, killing intent suddenly flooding the bedroom and then vanishing just as quick.

“Not quite,” he ground out, clearly trying to keep his voice level whilst he assessed the small amount of damage that Iruka had done during his panic attack. “The wound has reopened slightly in the middle but, the staples are still in place. I think I can heal it.” Bringing his hand directly over the wound, Kakashi let chakra flow to his hand, the green healing light of the mystical palm technique glowing softly as Iruka's skin started to knit back together.

Iruka fisted the bed sheets, a soft whine escaping his throat as he felt the healing jutsu taking effect. It had been four weeks since Mizuki had injured him and although it still hurt, the physical pain was much less than the emotional pain of betrayal. Mizuki had been his friend since they were kids and, while they had grown apart in recent years, he never once imagined that he would literally stab him in the back.

“I can hear you thinking. Stop blaming yourself, Ru. You couldn't have known that he would turn traitor. Thanks to you, Naruto is alive and safe.” Kakashi let the healing jutsu in his hand fade out. “All done. Please be careful, we don't need it opening up again.”

Kakashi pulled Iruka's pajama top back down and helped to carefully manoeuvre him over and onto his back, head propped up with soft feather pillows.

“Thanks, Kashi. Do you think Naruto is okay? I'm worried about him.”

“Maa, he's fine. I saw him yesterday at Ichiraku’s, stuffing his face. He told me to tell you that you need to get better quick so that you can take him out for ramen.”

Iruka chuckled and shook his head, a small smile gracing his tear-stained face. “Sounds about right.” And, at the mention of food, his stomach grumbled loudly.

“I'd hazard a guess that someone is hungry, ne?”

Iruka's face flushed fiercely and, try as he might, he couldn't will the blood away from his beet red cheeks. The more he tried to get his blush under control, the worse it got and before he knew it, his entire face and chest felt like it was on fire, burning with embarrassment.

A smile split Kakashi's face, both eyes crinkling in amusement. “Maa, no need to be so embarrassed. You never blush when you're enjoying me eating your-”

“Kakashi! Does your mind ever leave the gutter?”

Grinning, Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, adopting his usual slouch, and sauntered lazily out of the bedroom, heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The faint clanging of plates and saucepans from the kitchen had Iruka drifting into his thoughts. He would never admit it but, he enjoyed Kakashi's teasing. The man was smart, funny, and very quick-witted; something that he really enjoyed in a partner. Iruka found that very few people stimulated his mind like Kakashi.

After his parents died, the Third Hokage had taken Iruka under his wing, teaching him about everything and anything. It kept his mind busy and helped him work through his crushing depression. It was also the reason Kakashi had come into his life; accidentally catching the teen ANBU in a complex trap that he'd learned from one of the scrolls that had been gifted to him. Iruka would forever be grateful for everything that the Hokage had done for him.

The bed dipped next to Iruka, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“I made your favourite breakfast,” Kakashi said. “Miso soup, pan seared salmon and one of those oranges that you love. You know, from that little village on the border before The Land of Hot Water.” He slid the tray of food onto Iruka's lap and helped him sit up, carefully slinging an arm behind Iruka to take the strain off his still healing back.

“What would I do without you?”

“Probably starve.” Kakashi laughed, disappearing into back the kitchen and returning to sit next to Iruka with his own tray of food.

Iruka rolled his eyes and couldn't help but laugh, too. They ate in silence, Iruka occasionally stealing a sneaky glance at his fiance, eyes roaming across the pale skin on show. _What did I do to deserve someone as special and beautiful as you?_ For as long as he was alive, Iruka fully intended to make sure that Kakashi knew how much he was loved and appreciated.

 

****

 

“It won’t stop, Kashi,” Iruka whined, desperately trying to contort himself in a way that would allow him to reach his back injury. The staples had been irritating his skin to the point where, if he could reach, he would have most likely scratched himself until he bled.

Kakashi tilted his head at Iruka’s comment, wordlessly asking him to elaborate.

“The itching,” Iruka said.

He continued frantically trying to reach behind himself when all of a sudden, calloused hands gripped his arms, tugging them both forward and pulling him against a solid chest. Iruka looked up to find to mismatched eyes glaring down at him in irritation. “I only healed that an hour ago, Ru,” Kakashi grumbled, his deep voice rumbling in obvious displeasure.

“Why couldn't Tsunade have just healed the entire thing with chakra? The staples are irritating and itching so much,” Iruka complained, pouting and looking every bit like a scolded child.

“You know why, Ru. It's better for your body to finish the rest of the healing rather than rely on chakra for the entire thing,” Kakashi said as he brushed Iruka’s hair back and placed a soft kiss to his forehead.

Iruka understood the reasoning. After all, he had spent a lot of time caring for Kakashi due to the number of injuries he had sustained over the years. But, despite that, being forced to rest, unable to do anything for himself was a huge loss of independence. Sure, Kakashi had been more than happy to help and seemed to enjoy fussing over him but, he couldn’t help feeling like a burden.

With a sigh, Kakashi released Iruka and leaned over to his side of the bed, rummaging through his nightstand. “Hmmm, where is it? I'm sure I put it in here,” he said, sounding irritated.

“Where’s what?” Iruka asked, trying to peek over Kakashi’s shoulder at what he was searching for.

“My jar of healing cream. Ah found it! Now, strip down to your underwear and get on your stomach,” Kakashi demanded, a small smirk on his face.

Iruka started pulling his clothes off, first sliding his sleep shorts down his thighs, then kicking them to the floor in a heap. He went to take his pajama top off but paused, his breath quickening. Kakashi had seen his body after being taken to hospital but, he'd mostly been covered by bandages. He had only seen Iruka's back for the second time this morning.

The night that Mizuki had attacked him, it hadn't just been with the giant fuma shuriken. Dozens of kunai, some poisoned, had pierced his skin, leaving behind many deep, red, angry scars that littered his entire body, especially his arms, stomach, and back. A few of the wounds had become necrotic from the poison, eating away at his flesh and needing debridement, leaving extensive scarring behind. 

Iruka's mouth was suddenly very dry, his stomach lurching and breakfast threatening to make a reappearance. He knew what his body looked like now and had been disgusted by what he’d seen.  _What if Kakashi was disgusted, too?_

His heart started racing, hands shaking and clutching at the hem of his pajama top as though it were his only lifeline. Suddenly, there were warm hands on his, gently easing his grip and lacing their fingers together.

“I could never be disgusted, Ru.”

_Shit. Had he said that out loud?_

“Scars don't matter. They are a part of you and there isn't anything about you that I don't love. You're beautiful to me and nothing will ever change that,” Kakashi whispered and brought Iruka's hand up to his mouth, lips brushing across his knuckles. He continued, pressing kisses to the scars along the inside of Iruka's forearm, right up to the inside of his elbow, hot breath fanning across the sensitive skin.

Iruka's breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut, the sensation going straight to his groin. Never would he have thought that the inside of his elbow could be an erogenous zone. He opened his eyes to find Kakashi looking at him, gaze heated, clearly enjoying the reactions he was getting. Before Iruka could say anything, Kakashi gave a predatory grin, and suddenly there was a warm, wet, tongue tracing the crease of his elbow. “Fuck,” Iruka gasped. Kakashi had barely done anything to him, and already he was so hard that it was almost painful.

“Mmmm not just yet,” Kakashi said, voice thick with arousal. He placed a wet kiss to Iruka’s arm and pulled the top up and over his head, exposing Iruka’s gorgeous bronze skin. “On your stomach, now.”

Iruka didn’t need to be told twice and he settled down on his front, head resting on the pillow underneath. He could practically feel Kakashi’s gaze roving over his trembling body.

Kakashi leaned back on his knees, opened the jar and dipped his fingers in before returning it to the nightstand. He straddled Iruka's hips and carefully applied the cream, tracing the edges of the wound and making sure to be mindful of the staples holding the delicate skin together.

“It looks awful, doesn’t it?”

Sweeping Iruka’s long hair aside, Kakashi leaned forward and placed a kiss on his shoulder. “You could never-” Kakashi paused, kissing further down -”ever look awful.” He continued to place kisses down Iruka’s spine, pausing between each one to whisper all the reasons Iruka was beautiful.

Eager hands worked their way back up; sometimes gently tracing Iruka’s spine and other times, nails biting into unmarred flesh, raking down his sides followed by Kakashi’s tongue lavishing new scars. Being unable to see where Kakashi’s hands were, and where they would touch next, had Iruka on edge, his skin breaking out in goosebumps and his body quivering in anticipation.

It felt wonderful having Kakashi’s hands and tongue all over him, adding to the fire already burning, the heat simmering under his skin and curling low in his stomach. Before Iruka could stop himself he was pressing his hips into the mattress, desperate for a little friction to ease his aching cock.

“Someone's excited,” Kakashi teased, running his tongue along the shell of Iruka’s ear. He could feel Kakashi was hard as he began rolling his hips, pressing himself firmly against the cleft of Iruka’s ass.

Iruka was so turned on that he couldn't even begin to feel embarrassed as he reached one hand into his underwear, groaning as he took himself in hand.

They both rocked together on the bed, panting harshly; Iruka pushing his hips down into the mattress so he could grind into his hand and Kakashi straddling him, thrusting his clothed cock against Iruka's ass.

“ _Please_ , Kakashi,” Iruka begged, although he wasn't quite sure what for. All he could think about was how he was certain he'd burn up if he didn't get it.

Kakashi let out a groan and dropped forward onto both hands, his warm breath ghosting against the back of Iruka's neck. “We shouldn't,” he said. Although, his actions said otherwise, as he pulled Iruka's underwear off before sliding his own down, throwing them somewhere across the room along with his top and settled between Iruka's legs.

Iruka tried to push his hips back but, Kakashi pressed him back down into the mattress, gently spreading Iruka’s ass open and exposing him. He tried to voice his complaint but was silenced by the feeling of Kakashi's hot breath against his skin and then his tongue pressing firm, slow strokes against his entrance.

“Kashi!” Iruka gasped out, pushing back and fucking himself on Kakashi's tongue. “Just- _fuck_ -needmoredeeper- _ngh_ -yeslikethat.”

Kakashi spread Iruka's legs wider, his grip on Iruka’s ass almost bruising as he pressed his face closer, pushing his tongue deeper inside of Iruka's body and then used his lips to just _suck._

Almost incoherent and sobbing with need, Iruka couldn't think beyond wanting Kakashi inside him. He so desperately wanted to be filled, stretched wide and to surrender to everything Kakashi had to give.

Kakashi pushed back onto his knees, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Leaning back over Iruka, he thrust his throbbing cock between Iruka's ass cheeks and groaned against his neck. “You feel so good, Ru. I could come just like this.” He continued to thrust against Iruka's body, panting into his shoulder before his teeth sunk in, causing Iruka to cry out. “On your back. Now.”

Impatient hands helped Iruka roll over and just as he opened his mouth to talk, he was silenced by Kakashi greedily pushing his tongue inside as though he meant to consume him.

Moaning into the kiss, Iruka wrapped his legs around Kakashi's waist and pulled him close, grinding their hips together, enjoying the push and pull of sweat-slick skin. Kakashi pulled his mouth away and growled into Iruka's throat. He opened his mouth, laving his tongue against Iruka's pulse and sucked a mark into his skin. “Mine,” he growled.

Iruka slid his hands up Kakashi's neck and into his wild hair, winding fingers into silver strands and yanking him up and into a bruising kiss, teeth clacking together in his desperation to devour Kakashi.

With reluctance, Kakashi pulled away from the kiss and started to slide down Iruka's body. He paid attention to a couple of new scars just below Iruka’s collarbone, gently tracing them with his fingertips.

An unexpected flick of Kakashi's tongue against his nipple had Iruka gasping and pulling Kakashi's head closer. He looked down just in time to see Kakashi suck his nipple between kiss bruised lips, the sensation sending a bolt of desire straight to his cock. Iruka's hands tightened in Kakashi's hair, but instead of complaint at the pain, it pulled a throaty moan out of him, his eyelashes fluttering as his eyes rolled back in his head.

Iruka kept his tight grip on Kakashi's hair as though he was trying to anchor himself to something, anything, lest he float away. Wet kisses against heated flesh only served to fuel his desire as Kakashi continued working his way down, worshipping every new scar, slowly driving Iruka out of his head.

Hands gripped his hips and Iruka tilted them upwards, spreading his legs in wordless invitation. He took in a shuddering breath and gazed up at the sight before him - beautiful pale skin flushed pink and eyes blown wide in lust. Kakashi was so open like this, his body always honest even when he himself was not.

Reaching under his pillow, Iruka grabbed the lube and pressed the bottle into Kakashi's hand. “Please, I need you.”

He watched as Kakashi poured lube into his hand and shifted forward, their hard cocks brushing together as he wrapped a hand around them both, slicking them up and slowly stroking them together. Iruka gripped the sheets, knuckles turning white, enjoying the feeling of Kakashi's hand moving between their bodies.

Dropping forward onto one hand, Kakashi held himself above Iruka, lips almost touching and breaths mingling together.

Determined to pull some sounds from Kakashi, Iruka raked his nails down Kakashi's chest and tugged at both nipples, the action earning him a low groan, Kakashi stroking them harder, and picking up the pace.

“More,” Iruka choked out.

Suddenly Kakashi came to an abrupt stop, pulling one of Iruka’s hands down between them. He took the hint, curling his hand around Kakashi's. The sensation felt amazing and Iruka couldn't help but start pushing his hips up, Kakashi matching his thrusts, both fucking into their joined fists.

Trying to stifle a moan, Iruka looked up at Kakashi, desperately hoping that he was close.

He was hanging on by a thread and couldn't hold back much longer, the warmth curling low in his stomach threatening to consume him.

“I want to hear you,” Kakashi all but begged.

Curses fell from his lips followed by guttural moans, the sounds only serving to spur Kakashi on, his hips starting to lose any semblance of rhythm as he trembled above Iruka, drawing ever so close to the edge.

“I… I'm so close, _fuck-_ ” Iruka whined, gripping them both together. - “Come for me, please, _please._ ”

Kakashi captured Iruka's lips in a wet and messy kiss, full of urgency as his hips started stuttering. Tracing the curve of his ass, Iruka pushed the pad of his thumb against Kakashi's entrance, enjoying the way he groaned into their kiss as he came with a grunt, his orgasm painting Iruka's scarred stomach and chest.

Seeing Kakashi come all over him was all it took to push Iruka over the edge. And then, he was coming, coming so hard it was almost painful, mouth falling open in a silent cry as his release joined Kakashi's upon his chest.

Iruka felt his entire body become boneless and suddenly he was fighting back a yawn. He looked up to find Kakashi smiling at him.

“That good, huh?” Kakashi asked, leaning in for a chaste kiss before pushing himself up and scooting to the side of the bed.

“Mmm, yes,” Iruka said. He hadn't felt this relaxed since some time before the graduation exams. _Maybe Kakashi is right - sex is a good stress reliever._ The thought had him snorting with laughter.

“What's so funny?” Kakashi said as he got up, heading towards the bathroom attached to their bedroom.

“Oh, nothing really. Just thinking about how you are slowly corrupting me,” Iruka called out. “You know, we were told not to have sex until my staples are out and I'm cleared by Tsunade.”

Kakashi returned with a warm, damp cloth and started to carefully clean off Iruka's chest and stomach. He was very mindful of a few scars that were still red, almost raw from slow healing. “Maa, you started it. And, who was I to say no?”

“Asshole.”

“But I'm _your_ asshole,” Kakashi teased, joining Iruka back on the bed, pressing his naked body flush against Iruka's side and slinging an arm across his freshly cleaned chest.

Iruka huffed a laugh and turned to look at Kakashi. He would be forever thankful for how much Kakashi had supported him, even if at times he could be a little over the top, acting like a mother hen and fussing 24/7. Not that Iruka blamed him. He had almost died, after all the first 48 hours had been touch and go due to the severity of his spinal injury, blood loss _and_ the poison coursing through his body, attacking vital organs.

Of course, he had no memory of this and could only go by what Kakashi and his friends had told him. But, according to them, he had crashed twice within an hour of being taken to the hospital. Shortly after, the medics had admitted they were out of their depth and needed help. The Third Hokage hadn't hesitated in sending a team out to locate Tsunade Senju. And thank Kami he had, because he wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for her unrivaled medical skill.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Huh? Wha- Oh. Nothing, Kashi.” Iruka said. “I'm fine.”

Kakashi arched a brow, giving Iruka a skeptical look. Iruka could tell that he wasn't buying it but was thankful that Kakashi never pushed. He'd talk when he was ready.

“Hmm, if you say so,” Kakashi replied, squeezing Iruka's hand. “C’mon, let's get up and dressed.”

 

****

 

“What do you want to watch, Kashi?” Iruka asked, voice carrying from the lounge into the kitchen where Kakashi was making coffee.

“I don't mind, Ru. Whatever you want to watch is fine by me.”

Iruka decided on one of the Icha Icha films. It wasn't really his sort of thing usually but, the storyline was light-hearted with some funny moments mixed in. Definitely nothing like the books that Kakashi read which were very explicit. He didn't think he would manage to watch the films without blushing and squirming in embarrassment if they had actually followed the books. Kakashi would enjoy watching him get flustered and most certainly would tease him relentlessly. _Wouldn't change him for the world, though._

“Found something to watch, Ru?”

Iruka looked up from where he was crouched in front of the television as Kakashi padded into the room, carefully placing their drinks onto the coffee table. Pressing play on the video player, he simply nodded and tried to get back up off the floor. Spending so much time laid up in hospital had atrophied his muscles and so, at times Iruka struggled to get up from the floor.

“There's nothing wrong in asking for help,” Kakashi said. He bent forward, slinging an arm around Iruka's slim waist and carefully pulled him to his feet. “You'll be starting physical therapy once you're cleared. Things won't be this way forever, Ru.”

“I just… you shouldn't have to do this.” Iruka sighed, slumping down on the sofa, burying his face in his hands. Tears started gathering and he bit back a sob.

"He's right, I'm a failure, I-" He shook his head when Kakashi began to speak. "I can't even help myself off the ground, Kakashi, why should you have to? Why should you have to help me?"

Kakashi pulled Iruka against his chest, his hands softly carding through long strands of dark hair and whispered against his temple “Because you're my partner and because I love you.” He continued stroking Iruka’s hair, the gesture soothing, helping to calm him down. “You've done this for me enough times so please, let me in. Let me love you.”

Tugging the blanket off the back of the sofa, Kakashi pulled it over Iruka, urging him to lay his head in his lap as he began to sing softly. “I won't leave you, I will catch you, when you feel like letting go…”

Iruka looked up and almost choked up at the fond smile and the absolute warmth and sincerity he could see in Kakashi's eyes. _Maybe, just maybe he means it._

“Because you're not, you're not alone…,”

“Thank you, Kashi,” Iruka whispered, eyes heavy as he drifted off to the sound of his partners voice.

_What would I do without you?_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading ♡
> 
> I appreciate _every_ single kudos and comment whether they are long or short. Getting them makes my day, and I love chatting/getting to know you wonderful people.
> 
> Please come join our [Iruka Discord Server](https://discord.gg/GvedagG)
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://magnustesla.tumblr.com/) (Send me asks with your Kakairu prompts/requests! Or drop me a message if you fancy a chat)
> 
> My [Social Media](https://magnustesla.carrd.co/) Accounts. Come follow me!


End file.
